Frantic | Crumble | Abject Horror
Your lips are moving but I can’t make out a single word/ I’m shaking like a leaf/ Hope the gods that you can’t see/ Clawing at my chest cause I can’t breathe/ Now I got scars that never bleed
PANIC ATTACK – PEGGY
Characters: Elder Kajj, Asteri (my RP partner, a_lady_of_light’s OC)
Content Warnings: Panic attack depiction
Words: 559
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He awoke with a start to a thick, heavy absence in the warren.
Alone.
His hand shot out to feel across the nest, confirming what he already knew. The sheets were cool. The room was silent. No body lay curled gently against his, no quiet sounds rustled from deep within their home.
He was up in an instant, cold dread drenching him like ice water sweat, trickling down his spine. He tossed back the shroud of the blankets, their comforting weight made oppressive as he scrambled to his feet. He couldn’t —
He couldn’t taste them. Couldn’t hear them. The air was cold and sterile.
Where were they?
His pair, his hatchlings?
His warren, his life?
His optical feed flickered rapid-fire through the filters, desperately searching for a trace. His hands pressed against walls against doors, his pulse sang loud enough to drown out the ragged sob of his breath.
Alone.
Phantoms laughed at the edges of his vision, gilded claws smearing dark trails of loss, flashing sharp surgical smiles. You thought you were safe? they rasped in stereo, trailing in his wake. Your life belongs to us. This, too, is within our Command.
Wood slammed against wall, again and again as he searched the top floors, desperation leaving no room for subtlety in his search. No sign, no trace, and no taste. Was the air getting colder? Was the air getting thin? His eyes flickered staccato, a long practiced dance — bed closet door closet bed windows corner corner corner — next!
He stumbled down the stairs, or his body did, his mind was galaxies away. Was his love? Was his hatch? Small items rested upon the counters — keys and chits and bags. Items not taken. They should have been gone.
Ablution chambers – empty.
Sitting room as well.
Was this relief? Was this something? He read auguries in the pile of the carpet, looking for signs of struggle or distress. No taste of blood but no taste of life either — how long had he been out? How much had the taken while he slept?
His throat was burning as he slammed open the door to the hatchery, ghastly gilded claws tightened grip around his neck. Hatch wasn’t here, wasn’t anywhere — the air tasted still and clean. No trace, no trace! How long for no trace how long for–?
“Kajj!”
Like a magnet he turned, unbelieving, falling– storm gray eyes clouded with worry beautiful BEAUTIFUL — two bodies slammed together, two small hands against his face. Murmuring something murmuring– he couldn’t catch it couldn’t feel it couldn’t stop the crumble as he fell to his knees. He stared unthinking, uncomprehending the puzzle pieces of an image that refused to coalesce — a lock of hair, a flash of throat, familiar lips moving in patterns he should recognize, patterns he should know–
“…ajj….isten…? ….ere…. ening? Kajj… are you listening…?”
His breath released in one violent shudder, his grip loosening on her arms. Asteri.
Asteri. He knew her. Of course he knew her.
She was… but she was…
“Hey,” she said softly, breathlessly, and he loosed her from his crush. “Hey. I’m so sorry. Are … hearing me? Was… new air filter. Didn’t think–“
He cut her off, his face buried against her neck, and found a different sort of darkness there.
A softer one.
Safe.
Safe…