Kajj walked silently beside the Speaker’s procession, one hand lingering upon the trolley that carried the body down the hall, wheels clacking rhythmically against the tiles as they moved. Grim faces ringed the trolly, familiar and clad in the traditional Motherguard orange — Members of the Speaker’s warren, along with Mechanic Wess and Treasurer Kahna. A sizable cohort and yet… their numbers were fewer than what they should have been. Thinner. He could see the mental calculus as they all looked at one another over their silent charge, could see the recognition in their eyes. The truth that none of them were willing to say.
A pair of Caretakers were waiting for them at the end of the hall, white robes pristine and crisp, arms out and palms up in supplication and welcome as they prepared to accept their charge. Kajj let his gaze linger on the figure on the right… he recognized this one. The Hatchmaster himself, Elder Hiir. An honor.
A hollow honor, but an honor all the same.
The Motherguard fanned out as the Caretakers took control of the trolley, the quiet hum of sorrow rising up from their chests, the Motherguard’s voices joining in with theirs. Kajj closed his burning eyes as he added his own song to the chorus, his rich baritone clear above the others as the Caretakers rolled the Speaker towards the middle of the room, beneath a gleaming silver machine that hung from the ceiling. It was richly decorated and engraved, glittering with jewels that reflected a rainbow of dancing lights throughout the chamber but Kajj still saw it for what it was — the true final death, waiting for every vincam. The Uploader. The Way Home.
~Dearest hatch-mate, we now bring you to rest~* the chorus sang, watching as the Caretakers reached for the silver machine, pulling it down towards the trolley with a quiet click. *~We bring you here, to this place of sweet endings.~
Kajj forced his eyes to open, forced himself to watch as the Caretakers pulled back the Speaker’s orange silk shroud, revealing the face of his friend, pale and still.
Calix.
He spoke the name within his mind, that private bit of self the Speaker had shared with him so many years ago. Calix, lover of animals, lover of tea. Calix, with eyes as blue as yaila flowers, chitin a dusky sage green. Calix…
~Hatch-mate, you have traveled far, now you are returning. Home’s arms are open wide, warm and safe and yearning.~
The Caretakers rolled the speaker gently onto her side, freeing her cable from its hidden port on the back of her head. Elder Hiir hooked her into the machine and then lowered it fully down from the ceiling, the Speaker’s face and torso disappearing beneath a shroud of jeweled silver.
Kajj slipped one hand into his robe’s pocket, his fingers finding the small carved figure that rested there. Once, it had rested inside of Calix’s quarters.
~Hatch-mate, though you leave us now, your memory remains. Your echo joins our endless song, to sing forevermore.~
The song of the chorus rose in volume as the Uploader began to whirr, Calix’s memories, her data, her very echo copied from within her implant to be sent down to Home’s databases and added to the Collective. Eternal life, in its own way. There were even those who said that the echos had made themselves a sort of simulation there, where they lived a kind of second life.
Kajj could never quite bring himself to believe that. Death was… death. He had seen a lot of it, more and more with each passing year. His enemies, his acquaintances… his friends.
His family.
Calix, of the warm soul. Calix, of the easy laugh. Calix, the never ending stream of facts and figures, always with a relevant piece of trivia to share.
~Hatch-mate, fare well, until we meet again. Tell the others we love them. Tell the others, we are joining them soon!~
It should have been *me*, Kajj thought to himself as the Uploader clicked once again, the lights on the machines dimming. He was supposed to protect her. He was the head Guard now, since the passing of his clutchmate, and it was his duty to ensure the safety of all the colony… and the Motherguard in particular.
His fist tightened around the carved figurine, his throat burning as he stared at the machine.
He… had been sleeping when Calix had fallen. Sleeping when the research station was attacked. Why hadn’t he insisted on going with her? Why had he allowed her to go alone?
The mourning song faded, Kajj’s own sputtering out with it, leaving his chest feeling numb and empty as the room fell to silence, as the Speaker’s data left the body behind and left them with just a shell upon the trolley.
The Speaker was gone.
Calix was gone.
…and it should have been him, instead.